


PaaaassssTTTTAAAAA?

by crackficswithfriends



Series: crack fics 2.0 [1]
Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Christmas fic, Crack, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-12
Updated: 2017-03-12
Packaged: 2018-10-03 00:01:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 333
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10231019
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crackficswithfriends/pseuds/crackficswithfriends
Summary: All Italy wants for Christmas is some pasta, bu Prussia gives Germany some... other ideas.





	

**Author's Note:**

> codenames ash and gary wrote this little thing. ash doesn't know shit about hetalia, but they tried.

Scenario: it’s christmas, person a can’t find person b on christmas morning and decides to open one (1) singular gift and the gift is person b naked in a box

 

Hetalia

 

Person a = italy

Person b = germany

  
  


**_“I don’t understand why you’re crying. I’m only doing this because I love you!”_ **

 

Wait, wait, but let’s back up. It all started on the crisp Christmas morning when Germany received poor advice from Prussia. 

 

Italy woke to a suspiciously empty life. After waking and realizing Germany was gone, he went to look for him in the kitchen. Then, after not finding him, he made his way to the living room. Seeing the CHristmas Tree and some pretty fucking great-looking boxes just lying there seductively, he decided it wasn’t worth waiting for Germany and went to open one of them.

 

Nearing, he realized a very large, very had-not-been-there-the-night-before box. 

 

_ “PAsta”  _ he whispered forcefully. 

 

With renewed vigour he ran to the box and KNOCKED IT DOWN IN HIS EXCITEMENT.

 

A scream from within startled him and he paused.

 

“ _ PAsta _ ?” he whispered, shaking slightly.

 

A muffled groan sounded from the box,  **“It’s not pasta!”**

 

“Not pasta?” he mumbled, disheartened. “What else could it possibly be?”

 

Suspicious, he tore open the wrappings. And, there, the final piece to the mystery, was a...very nude Germany.

 

“ Not pasta,” Italy decided.

 

“Not pasta,” Germany agreed.

 

As Italy’s schoooook wore off, he realized two very…...scary details. One, Germany’s dick was huge. Two, Germany was covered in pasta sauce with his whip in his right hand. 

 

Italy stared for a very long moment, then burst into tears.

 

Germany screamed in horror. What had he done??? FUCKING PRUSSIA, GODDAMMIT.

 

( **Meanwhile….**

 

A very proud Prussia was sitting in his own house, pissing himself laughing at the events he knew were likely happening.)

  
Italy could not seem to stop crying, no matter what Germany said. Finally, in desperation, Germany cried out,  **_“I don’t understand why you’re crying. I’m only doing this because I love you!”_ **


End file.
